#i used to draw him all the time orz

[fraternum-momentum]

ITS SHUICHIS BIRTHDAY IM OUTSUDE AND I CANT DOODLE HIM WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT THE WORLD IS TRULY AGAINST ME

[puppyeared]

is this your card? ♦️♣️♥️♠️ it isnt but you dont wanna hurt his feelings

[libraryofgage]

Mermaid/Pirate Steddie Four

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Hi hi! It's been kind of a long week for me lmao but here's the next part! You'll def wanna stick around to the very end of the post; there's a very fun surprise for y'all lol

Also! If you like my writing or want to see a quicker update of this or another series, I've opened commissions (student loans are hitting a lot harder than I expected orz). If you're interested, you can find more information in this post

Even if you don't commission me, I appreciate your likes/comments/reblogs of my work! They keep me going and make me really happy ^_^

Anyway, now for the good stuff. As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

----

Sinking a ship takes skill, intense planning, and strong tails. Or, if you're Robin and seven guppies, it takes incredible, unbridled rage and a worry that could kill a Kraken. A ship that should take half the day to sink only takes the group two hours, their tails bashing against the hull and claws ripping planks to let seawater surge inside. Dustin is particularly brutal, recruiting Lucas and Mike to help him use the same net that caught him and took Steve to drag the ship beneath the waves.

Between tending to Dustin's wounds, lying to the pod about why they're going to be away for a while, and actually tracking the damned thing, it took Robin and the guppies a few days to catch up to the ship. And as they scavenge the drowned wreckage, pushing past broken doors and through holes in the hull, it becomes increasingly clear that they're too late.

"Where could he be?!" Dustin shouts, his gills flaring and bubbles rising in an enraged pattern above him. He takes a spear and jabs it into a water-bloated plank. "If he's not here, that means he escaped, right? So why hasn't he found us yet?"

"Steve could have been taken by another ship," El points out, her head poking from behind a mast. She's gained a dagger with a jewel-encrusted hilt and is currently using her nails to dig the jewels out and drop them into a seaweed bag.

Robin frowns, swimmingly anxiously in circles. She's not the one that's good with guppies. That's Steve. If she's the fun caretaker that encourages them to play Scuttlefish with sharks, Steve is the one a tail's-length behind dragging them back to the pod before they can get hurt. He's the one who knows how to keep the guppies calm and healthy. Robin is the one who keeps them energetic and chaotic.

"He was definitely here," Will says, swimming out from a cabin on the ship. He stops in front of Robin and holds his hands out, letting her see the dull, blood-stained scales sitting in his palms.

With a shaking hand, Robin takes the scales and turns them over, hoping they're somehow not Steve's. But he's her partner. Robin could recognize him by the flick of his tail alone. So, of course, she knows they're Steve's scales at a glance.

She turns, her tail creating a small current that brushes over the guppies and forces them to look at her. "If he's not on this one," she says, "then we'll just keep sinking ships until we find him."

"Let's start with the other ship," Erica says.

"The other ship?" Robin asks.

Erica nods, pointing in the direction they'd just come from. "A few leagues before we found this one, I saw another one that was sailing in the other direction. Maybe they crossed paths."

For a brief moment, Robin wonders how she missed the other ship. But then she remembers how she's been caught between her own worries and keeping the guppies from spiraling, and she gives herself a break. "Yeah," she says, nodding as she closes her fingers over the scales. The edges cut into her palms but don't draw blood. "Let's go track down that ship. But don't keep something like that from me next time."

The guppies all nod in agreement, and Robin looks at the wreckage around them. She's half-tempted to let the guppies loot the rest of the ship, but she knows they're all aching to find Steve already. So, Robin herds them away from the sunken ship in the direction Erica pointed and hopes Steve can hold on for just a little longer.

----

Excerpt from "The Lovelorn Fool's Guide to Merfolk Courtship"

Song Types

There are several song types that merfolk are likely to use in their lifetime. While the human ear cannot distinguish the intricacies of the songs, it can tell the major categories apart.

As newly-born guppies, they know only how to vocalize wordless sounds based on their needs. These sounds are referred to as Guppy Songs. These songs are generally lacking in any real melody or rhythm. They are rough and unskilled, but many caretakers consider them precious.

Pod songs are shared tunes and melodies among the pod to communicate big news. When hearing a pod song from a lone merperson, it will sound incomplete. Pod songs usually require at least one other merperson to support or respond to the initial measures, which creates a complete and satisfying loop.

Individual songs are varied and unique, as the name suggests. They cover a range of emotions that simply can't be communicated through regular speech or bubble patterns (to learn more about bubble patterns, please see Part I: The Basics). Among these songs, the most important to know is the courting song, which can actually be multiple songs using the same opening measures and melodies with slightly different tones.

Now that you know the most basic kind of songs, we can move to harmonizing. Truthfully, a human's ability to harmonize with a merperson is nearly impossible. However, it can be done with an instrument, which can reach ranges the human voice cannot. So, if you don't know how to play one, I'd suggest learning. Harmonizing is a key step in the courtship process, after all.

----

Steve shrieks as Eddie spins him around, the sound high and grating, and clings tighter to Eddie's neck. His tailfin slaps Eddie behind his knee, hard enough to make him falter and slip on the rain-soaked deck. He falls on his ass, Steve safely in his lap, and laughs. The charms in his hair knock against each other, and Steve idly reaches up to brush his finger against one. "What was that for?" Eddie asks, the words slightly breathless.

"You surprised me," Steve says, frowning slightly as raindrops catch in his eyelashes and make them heavy. He holds a hand above his eyes and then does the same for Eddie.

"You just looked so pretty, sweetheart," Eddie says, grinning at Steve like he knows what bubble pattern his fluttering gills would create (flustered and flattered).

He rolls his eyes, looking at the sky and sea in the distance. The ocean is surging, and waves and sea foam collide as the wind picks up force. Dark clouds hang over the sea, and Steve would be concerned if he didn't know the storm would clear up soon. He can tell from the sound of the ocean and the taste in the air: the water isn't angry enough and there isn't enough salt on his lips.

The rain is still going to turn brutal, though, and Steve would prefer they weren't on deck when it happens. He overheard Asher and Jeff talking about the last time Eddie got soaked to the bone and got sick. He's not sure what a "cold" is, but he doesn't want Eddie catching it again.

"Let's go back to the cabin," he says, looking back at Eddie with a light smile. "I want to hear you play that, uh, gee-tare."

"Guitar, Stevie," Eddie corrects, holding Steve tight as he stands. He has an excited smile, something expectant in his eyes that Steve still hasn't figured out.

Steve hums, knowing very well how it's pronounced, but he likes to see the somewhat dopey smile Eddie gets whenever he mispronounces something. He gets the feeling Eddie also knows he's doing it on purpose, but he's not said anything yet.

Eddie carries him down to the captain's cabin, kicking the door shut with his foot. "Where do you want to be, sweetheart?" he asks.

After a moment's consideration, Steve gestures to the bed, looking forward to the soft pillows and even softer sheets. When Eddie places him down, he wiggles until his tail is curled comfortably, soaking the sheets beneath him, and looks at Eddie expectantly.

"Any requests?" Eddie asks, clearly amused as he grabs his guitar and hops onto the bed next to Steve. His knee brushes against Steve's tail, drawing Steve's attention briefly to the faint scar that lingers across his scales.

He's been healed for almost a day now, and Steve should probably start bracing himself to say goodbye, but he'd like to remain in denial a little longer. He doesn't want to leave. Even if he knows he'll come right back with Robin and the guppies, Steve doesn't want to be away from Eddie that long. They haven't even confirmed their courtship. Leaving before they do means any merperson with half a brain could see how much of a pearl Eddie is and try to steal him away.

Steve forces the thought away, forces himself to focus on answering Eddie's question, and shakes his head. "Just play something," he says.

Eddie nods and thinks a moment as he tunes the guitar. "Could you hum something?" he asks.

When he looks up at Steve again, there's something oddly intense in his gaze. He looks determined, as though something very important is riding on this moment. Steve isn't sure what it is, exactly, but he knows he doesn't want it to pass him by. Steve nods and starts humming a soft and familiar tune, one he's used a lot more after meeting Eddie.

It must be the right choice, because Eddie practically lights up, a grin tugging at his lips and crinkling the corners of his eyes as he listens. After a few seconds, he starts plucking strings on the guitar, adding a gentle accompaniment that makes Steve's humming rock back and forth like the ocean currents.

Usually, Eddie plays fast, his music filling Steve with the same heat and energy as an underwater volcano in the middle of an eruption. But this is slow and sweet like the honey Steve tried a few days ago. It creeps through him, his gills fluttering with each note that Eddie pulls from his guitar. He feels soft and happy, his voice shifting to follow Eddie's lead as inspiration hits him.

They trade the lead back and forth between them, and Steve starts to actually sing at some point. He doesn't know when he opened his mouth and started to vocalize the notes instead of just humming them, a sweet melody forming as his voice resonates with the guitar. It just happens as naturally as swimming. Steve can no longer tell where his voice ends and the guitar begins. They've fallen into sync, strumming and singing together without missing a beat.

Steve leans closer, his heart pounding against his ribs even faster than usual. They're harmonizing. He realizes it suddenly, but it doesn't catch him off-guard. It's just a whisper in the back of his mind, a little nudge that makes him smile and move without thinking beyond the desire to be closer.

The song doesn't end naturally. In fact, Eddie is in the middle of a particularly lovely string of notes when Steve kisses him, still humming low in his throat. Eddie's fingers fumble, a sour note pulling from the guitar, but Steve doesn't care. He's too busy wrapping one hand around the back of Eddie's neck and placing the other on Eddie's chest.

He can feel Eddie's heart beating just as rapidly as his own, and Steve presses closer. He's barely balancing on his tail as Eddie moves the guitar from his lap, pushing it to the side of the bed while he kisses Steve back. Eddie pushes his hand into Steve's hair, tangling his fingers in the strands.

Steve's humming happily rises in pitch, and he finally loses his balance, his weight pressing entirely on Eddie and causing him to fall back on the bed. The kiss breaks when Eddie bounces slightly, their foreheads knocking together, and Steve can't help laughing.

"You're fucking gorgeous, sweetheart," Eddie whispers, his free hand trailing to Steve's waist and settling on his back. His fingers brush against the line where scales meet skin, and Steve shudders, his mouth going dry, and he kisses Eddie again before he can say another word.

----

Tag List (the tag list is full! I wasn't able to fit everyone, so if you aren't on here, I'd suggest following #high seas steddie. I think you should still get updates on your dash if you do)

@mugloversonly, @raisedbylibrarians, @thegirlwiththelibrarybag, @savory-babby, @vankaar, @beckkthewreck, @itcanbepalped, @imfinereallyy, @finntheehumaneater, @mightbeasleep, @weekend-dreamer7

@whenindoubtb72, @troublemaker2azz, @just-a-tiny-void, @upallnightogetloki, @mxmakessense, @ellietheasexylibrarian, @haelreadsshit, @y4r3luv, @starman-jpg, @littlewildflowerkitten, @estrellami-1, @stevieschrodinger, @gaelicblue, @they-reap-what-we-sow

@5ammi90, @noodle-shenaniganery, @acrolius, @hallelujahimatheist, @rainbow-freckle, @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @79chevyimpala, @aliea82, @hopefulcookieoperatorpersona, @sani-86, @queenie-ofthe-void, @goosesister, @hello-fellow-nerds, @luthienstormblessed, @xtkxkrzrizir, @potato-of-the-lord, @geekymagicalpotato, @child-of-cthulhu, @aizawa-emma, @m-owo-n, @newtstabber, @cartercaptainofthemoon, @spectrum-spectre, @a-little-unsteddie

And, if you've made it this far, here's a little meme for your entertainment

[merakiui]

for the fwb asks, "you're enjoying this way too much." with trey please? I am. frothing at the mouth <33

<3 forgive me for being indulgent with this. I wanted to include food play as well,,, orz please enjoy the tasty treat that is Trey's dick. >:D

(fwb dialogues)

In hindsight it was dangerous to do this in the Heartslabyul kitchen where anyone could walk in at any moment. But it's late into the night, and Trey had been kind enough to sneak you in on account of owing you a favor. That's all your relationship really is, truly. Just transactions. Mutual give and take. You help him relieve some stress (because Queen knows managing Riddle is an undertaking in itself) and in return he offers to pay you in sweets (and bodily pleasures, but the former is far more tempting).

You'd been expecting one of his renowned strawberry tarts or a slice of cake, so you're stunned when his lips lift into that trademark scheming smirk. He holds up a can of whipped cream next. Having known Trey long enough to decipher his tastes, it doesn't take a genius to figure this one out.

"You're crazy," you breathe, eyes wide.

"Just risky," he corrects, pushing his glasses up, because everyone's mad here. Moonlight catches on the lenses, shimmering back at you in a foreboding glint.

"We can't do that in here. What if someone walks in?"

Trey procures his magic pen from his pocket, pressing it to his lips. "I won't tell if you won't."

Right. Doodle Suit. Convenient.

"All right then. Get on with it," you concede after a short internal debate. The rewards outweigh the risk in this case. Something tells you Trey would bail you out even if you get caught. Partially because he'd be just at fault.

Trey grins. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"Absolutely. Did you even have to ask?"

Snatching the can from his hands, you squirt some on your finger for a taste while he works to fish himself from his pants. He works himself slowly in one hand, peering down at you after you've lowered to your knees. This isn't the first time you and Trey have fooled around with food and it certainly won't be the last.

You make quick work decorating his erection, unable to tamp down the delighted giggle when it twitches in response to the cool cream.

"Eager," you comment, finishing off with a dollop to his tip. You set the can on the tiled floor and admire your handiwork with an approving nod. "Do we have any cherries? Ooh, what about sprinkles?"

Amusement flickers on his face. "I've been meaning to pick some up. We used the rest of them last time."

"Aw. This'll have to do for now then." You press your lips to the head of his cock, swirl your tongue over it, and draw away with a mouthful of whipped cream. "It's still just as good."

Trey inhales sharply, grabbing at the counter behind him to brace himself. "Mm, yeah," he mumbles, clearing his throat. "T-That'll do..."

Scooting closer on the ground, you place your hands on his thighs and lean in again to lick a languid stripe up the underside of his shaft, gathering cream as you go. The motions come easily; you've had his cock in your mouth more times than you've truly studied for any of Professor Crewel's alchemy exams, a bad habit Trey's working to correct. To think you could retain information better when he's blowing your back out... Isn't that something?

Breathing through his nose, he tamps down the slew of sinful groans and instead grips the counter with more force. He's purposely holding back, whether for the sake of keeping quiet or because it's the build-up that entices him. You're not sure which it is, but you're determined to break him tonight.

Licking your lips clean, you look up at him through your lashes to assess the lustful haze glazing his eyes. Whipped cream spots your cheek; you pay it no mind and lean in and wrap your lips around him once more. It's sweet. There's definitely an innuendo to be found there, and Trey seems to notice it right away. He throbs in your mouth, painfully hard.

"You're enjoying this way too much," you say around the mouthful.

Trey chuckles, feigning sheepishness. "It's that obvious, huh?"

You pull away to speak more clearly. "It's cute."

"Not the adjective I'd use, but if it fits..." He laughs, shaking his head. Your word choices always enthrall him. Once you called him a midnight snack, a callback to previous times spent wrapped around one another. He doesn't mind it. Not particularly.

His fingers card through your hair to hold you firmly in place. "Sorry in advance."

"You don't mean that," you tease, and both of you know it's true. He likes seeing you choke on his cock. It's exhilarating.

You don't mind it. Not particularly.

[mersei47]

mh fix it au doodles that I just got to draw it out (below is my ramblings about this au)

- so like jay got shot but hes not dead and got send back in time before everything go to shit or all is just a big fever dream (I cant decide which one is better)

- and jay is the only one know about this then he has to do something so history wont repeat itself

- oh theres skully too but they are not jay but a different entity that is there to help jay defeats the operator (think of it like when you played game then died first try the second try you got a helping hand or assist so you wont die again)

- skully lives with jay at his apartment while both of them try to find a way to end this (skully is a good roommate if you get to know them :D)

- everyone that got contacted with operator can see skully (means that everyone except mh crew (+ jessica, amy etc.) cant see skully)

- jay probably ten times more paranoid about everything and everyone now that he knows whats gonna happen

- last time jay and tim ever interact didnt end well (at least for jay) so he has mixed feeling towards tim. and tim knows jay been keeping smth from everyone but doesn't wanna pry it out, yet

- skully at first just there to help defeating the operator but when times go on they help jay mending his relationship with his friends too

- one time when the crew shooting movie near the wood area alex saw jay walked out of forest looked disoriented and frustrated with leaf all over his head. everyone at crew just had to come charged at jay asking him what happened but jay doesnt want to talk about it since he knew it would involved them and risk being killed

- there will be time when he learned that he cant work alone forever (because look where it led him in the past)

- and skull know this too so they try to reach out to everyone else (brian, tim) to help jay which is very hard because brian and tim freaked out at first because "dude theres a masked man stalking us wtf????" (similar to how skully try to reach out to jessica in comic)

- jay cant seem to stay close with alex for a very long time because he will have panic attack (I mean alex did kill him and he probably still shocked) and as much as alex wants to ask jay what happened jay cant think of straight answers

- (theory time) now that I think about a way to defeat operator the only things I can think of is 1. defeat it within the ark 2. burn the forest (too hardcore and didnt solved the root cause) 3. or operator is the result of everyone's undiagnosed mental illness they refuse to acknowledged it and get help (jay and alex is clear examples). Operator is still real but it targets peoples like them. If they got the help them should probably can uh fight it off (this starting to sounds like cthulhu stuff)

I tried my best to sound understandable orz

[drowsie341]

@gontagokuhara-week Day 7 - crossover / (fusion?) au / free day

I'm a Persona 5 fan, and I also love putting my favourite characters into other settings... especially if they're a bit less despair-inducing than Danganronpa lmao.

So, Gonta as a Phantom Thief (because why the hell not)!! I've had this in mind for a while, and it's definitely not a final design or anything, but I like how it's turning out so far.

Warning, lots of AU infodumping below the cut :')

His Phantom Thief codename is Beetle :)

I wanted him to look classy, but also a bit intimidating and warrior-like

As for why his Phantom Thief outfit has some intimidating vibes when Gonta hates looking scary... I think he would eventually realise (maybe through an awakening scene?) that he can still do good by using that "intimidating” side of himself, and that he should embrace his whole self to help more and more people

Thinking about it, in a final design I want to make his undervest? Underjacket? thing more armoured, and give him more insect motifs and armour overall

Designing a Persona for him... that's gonna be a challenge if or when I get to it lol

Gonta’s very protection-oriented, not only with the armor on his outfit, but with his Persona abilities. Group defense buffs and group heal skills are a must for him. Is there a move in P5 where a character is 100% guaranteed to tank attacks aimed at others? If there is, he has that for sure. Also his element would be wind and his weakness would be fire

The shield-spear combo was inspired by this quote which pops into my head occasionally:

The Phantom Thieves in P5 all have one gun and one weapon each, so an idea I had for Gonta was that his “shield” would actually be a large beetle-shaped armoured gun, that’s strapped onto his arm like a shield because using it as a gun feels dishonorable. ...But I completely forgot about that when drawing this orz I’ll get it right next time

I also have some ideas for a Kokichi P5 design... we going court jester with this one

[xenocorner]

Here's some little christmas gifts for some amazing mutuals that have made this year a whole lot more bearable with their amazing content and their amazing interactions and just being amazing in general :']

Long post ahead so divider here to spare your scrolling. (I am also probably gonna get a bit sappy so if that makes you cringe: you've been warned lol)

@lilbitofmac Thank you for being my introduction to the fandom here on tumblr :'''D I really think I wouldn't have stuck around if it weren't for your initial warmth and encouragement. Your Tony remains my fave Tony I go feral over your art orz I may or may not have the clingy ironstrange drawing as a phone wallpaper-

Hope next year is kinder on you man! I know we don't really talk outside of tags/replies, but if you ever need smthn I can help with my inbox is always there.

@strxngetimes I'm just tagging this one blog because I don't want to spam all your other blogs lmao. Thank you for sharing your interpretations of the characters with us, not only the rps with other muses but also the headcanons and brainrot. It's always such a pleasure both to see you on the timeline writing with other muses and on the inbox with the disaster man.

I specially like how you include his Cloak in the mix and give it a personality- I absolutely adore the Cloak :'') So here's it being all clingy to the disaster man. Hope to see more of you having fun with all ur muses in the coming year :D

@starkkawajiri Pretty art!! Hilarious and heart wrenching character interactions!!! I love your designs and lore building so much. Fanboying over the same disaster man and making him suffer always brings a smile to my face. I've wanted to draw your Strange for a while now, so this was also the perfect excuse, I love him so much you have no idea-

Can't wait to see more of your amazing designs and lore stuff for this AU! (and anything else you create next year :])

@nekojetto I think your Strange is the purest Strange there is and the fact that it's based off Supreme makes that so much more impressive. Your animatics are simply breath taking, and whenever I go back to check your concepts and sketches for character interactions I always get a smile on my face :D

I'm sorry I haven't gotten to the collab just yet :'') Plz know I still have it in mind, haven't forgotten about it and am still just as excited to finally get to it as I was the first day!

@infiniteeight8 Your words make me cry and laugh so much all the time :'') You write the disaster men so beautifully both in serious, fluffy, angsty and funny situations. Reading ur stuff keeps the creative juices flowing!

I remember you liked the vampire Stephen prompt you were sent, so here's some of that, even if it's more halloween-y than christmas-y.

[drdtfuitgumies]

season 3 summary: july 2024

this summary is mainly for my personal documentation (i like documenting stuff), but i thought i'd post this in the blog too just in case anyone else was interested!

STATISTICS

as you can perhaps tell by the "header", ace is first place for this month with seven appearances! ...though considering the situations he was involved in (most notably an undignified jumpscare, being put in air jail, and being put in a repurposed jail by the name of Arei's Haul), it may be more of a curse. arei, j, and whit all tie for second place with six appearances, which is a very normal occurrence at this point.

PERSONAL FAVORITES (in chronological order)

1) Teruko falls down the stairs (ft. her three* best** friends***) (CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS)

i really like eden and charles' sideeyes here. and drawing teruko falling down the stairs was always one of my main goals with this blog, so i'm glad i could accomplish that!

2) Class is NOT going well (CHAPTER 1 SPOILERS)

the people really liked this one too, it seems! i finished in time for their birthday, too... i'm bound by law to apologize because they happen to be a friend's favorite character. orz

3) Whit shows Xander how to wear a blazer

i've drawn this sprite twice now. he just looks endearing in what i like to call The Stupid Idiot Dog way. I promise I mean this with as much affection (and cuteness aggression) possible. maybe i'll draw more sprites in the future... especially the ones that barely get used

4) Do you see this shit, Min?

another meme redraw! not much thought here. i just want them to be friends, even if it starts from a shared exasperation with practically the rest of the class.

THE POWER OF HINDSIGHT

sometimes i think of adding punchlines in the situations, or fix errors after i've put them in the queue, but forget to actually. do that

veronika jumpscaring ace was supposed to have a dark background but i thought veronika jumpscaring him with a flashlight in broad daylight was way funnier. the end result would still be the same anyhow

as mentioned in both "class is NOT going well" and "min and mai eat taiyaki", the latter was supposed to be min's birthday post. but i saw the meme around a week before her birthday and i couldn't NOT draw it. and i actually finished it in time!!

levi's dialogue in this situation was supposed to allude to him putting ace in air jail, but i didn't know how to make j's dialogue MASSIVE while also leaving just enough words for the viewer to ponder about what exactly levi was doing beforehand

also about the above situation; j's second piece of dialogue was supposed to be lowercase. i try to modify everyone's dialogue according to how they'd probably type (from the top of my head arei, eden, and whit speak in lowercase and sprinkling in emoticons/kaomojis; ace and j also speak in lowercase but they often switch into Titlecase and UPPERCASE for emphasis). that time i forgot to proofread the capitalization though. i guess this is incredibly minor and doesn't even matter that much

arei was supposed to steal hu's butterfly pin off-screen and the situation would be hu recalling the incident to someone like. levi, eden, or david idk. and going "I am unfortunately disappointed but not surprised" with a serene expression. i thought the punchline of hu just giving her pin and arei considering it a defeat was funnier, so i ended up going with that

I really, really wanted to find proper motivational words that Arturo would say,,,,,, ach.....

OTHER REMARKS

i tried to mimic arei's canon handwriting for that header image! also that is indeed the jail cardboard box being repurposed as arei's inventory of stolen items. i guess ace lives there for now

i want to do vocaloid mv redraws... i think i've mentioned it here once before, but i'd like to try. although i probably can't do more "serious" songs

that one comment asking if arei brought ace in her suitcase (since she's wearing some stolen accessories) still makes me laugh because how does one even begin to approach that conclusion. you can freely interpret arei's bigger suitcase as a sign that a whole ass Ace Markey is stuck inside there, i suppose! thank you for the mental image!

unfortunately, my schedule this year is taxing enough that i literally can't draw fuit gumies everyday anymore (unless if it was just one single character standing). i'll still post something for everyone's birthdays, and i plan to draw something to start off september at least, but i'll wait until that post for a more concrete schedule

thank you for your support!

as promised, whether you've seen it or not; here is the miro canvas for the first three months/seasons! i've since moved into another one since it started lagging enough to annoy me.

[onetoomanyyy]

can you do a deep Namida analysis? you can include personal hcs i need her i need h < wants namida lore so bad orz

Namida. Naminami. Master Namida. Mida-Chan. The Girl From Planet Namik.

I’m much more of a headcanons guy than an analysis guy, so this will probably be more “headcanons slightly based on analysis” than the other way around, sorry 😵‍💫 (however, a little while ago fishhjuice did a compiling of all the canon namida facts)

Namida likes to present herself as the most orderly and put-together member of Squid Squad, but in actuality she’s probably the strangest one. She can be quiet around strangers, but once you get her talking you’ll never get her to stop. She knows all sorts of seemingly useless facts that somehow always manage to come in handy. She has insane spice tolerance and usually finds herself adding copious amounts of hot sauce to foods she thinks are too mellow. She likes photography and art, sometimes doodling her friends in her free time. Her lack of a complete eyemask is a mutation that she used to touch up with makeup, but later abandoned it after it started to become integral to her image. She’s willing to sing but is a bit embarrassed to, as she isn’t sure her singing voice is all that good.

Namida grew up fairly wealthy and her parents fostered her love for music at a young age, sending her to a music school where she learned piano and picked up some jazz theory. Later, she began to grow bored with the prim and proper lifestyle, and was the first member to join Squid Squad after becoming fast friends with Ichiya.

Namida is the emotional core of Squid Squad. Shes the best at talking to people and has a way with words that make it impossible to stay mad at her (even if she just did something that definitely warrants it). She’s also the most affectionate member and is responsible for the most group hugs.

Out of all her bandmates, Namida is closest with Ichiya. She was the first person he met after moving to Inkopolis, and he was pretty much the first really close friend she ever had. However, this closeness meant that during the final weeks of Sqdsqd’s lifespan, she tended to brush off how much of an ass Ichiya was being out of fear of damaging the band further. This did not turn out to be the right decision and she went on to feel a little guilty about it, wishing she could have done more. She puts up with a lot of his shit, but is willing to give him another chance come Front Roe. She’s a little worried about it all, but she has hope that it will work out. (go read my fic for more on that 😋😋😋) (shameless plug)

Namida and Murasaki are partners in crime, two chaotic-good bundles of energy. They’re pretty much the only duo who never had any ill will towards one another. The majority of Namida’s nicknames were coined by Murasaki. They lost contact with each other after the breakup but happily reunited later down the line. In Front Roe, Nami wishes that Murasaki wouldn’t be so dismissive of Ichiya nowadays, because that definitely isn’t going to fix anything. Wow, finally a pair that isn’t that complicated!

Namida always respected Ikkan for his musical prowess and considered him the funniest (even though he cracked jokes the least often). They would end up sharing the quietest moments together, making easy small talk and sometimes exchanging personal musings they wouldn’t share with the others. However, even Namida had concerns that some of his criticisms of the band were a bit too harsh, but they were all in good faith, right? So it wasn’t a big deal, right? She misses having someone to talk to where she didn’t feel a need to be the bigger person.

that’s all I’ve got for Namida! I really don’t draw her enough for how fun she is to draw. Thanks for the ask!!

[izuizzy]

What traumatic event caused Talia to become that way? :O

so I wanted to draw smth for this but my art parasites are pulling me towards other drawings orz

but basically I’ve kinda referred to this incident indirectly a few times now but it’s related to vanitas. if you haven’t seen him he’s my other sonadow lab experiment.

he has hated her for many reasons but mainly bc he believes she “changed” vox from what he used to know. at some point when vanitas began to slowly descend into madness and became more aggressive and hostile he came to very dangerous conclusion.

(tw for violence, strangling, below)

vanitas decided that if talia was gone, things would be fixed.

now logically this wouldn’t fix anything, but he still tried. any logic was gone by this point. he caught talia unaware and attempted to strangle her. as he hovered over her he was certain it would fix everything. pinning all the issues on her. she tried to fight back but she was smaller and not as strong.

if it wasn’t for another subject seeing this and screaming he would’ve been successful. vox was there and in a rage he attacked vanitas. however talia, struggling for breath saw her short life before her eyes and she was never the same after that.

although she lost her memories the trauma from that event was still ingrained in her. she would sometimes have nightmares of an unknown hazy figure hovering over her and slowly strangling her. and in response she chose not to speak it was as if her voice was choked out of her.

slowly but surely she grew more comfortable and she felt she could trust sonic and shadow and they were the first people to hear her speak.

for those who may be wondering “what about vox?” well in response to the amnesia vox had, he believed the only thing he was made for was to defeat shadow and he only remembered that factor. he vanished not long after team dark found him (maybe a year or so after) because he refused to “play house”

but that’s a story for another time.

I hinted at this incident for talia here btw

[randomyuu]

(A)void - A fanart

OH MY GOOOOOD

This fic, (A)void by tafih ignites my love for Yuuji to a whole new level.

A platonic reader insert??? Focusing on Reader’s love for Yuuji while adopting every kid as time goes? Sign. Me. The. Fuck. Up.

Chapter 1 had me floored. The way Mirei (the reader) is introduced to the class, how Mirei noticed Yuuji, and slowly realising she really, really loves Yuuji is just—fuck. I love all these moments.

And after Yuuji ate Sukuna, the pain she felt knowing the distance that grew between them, I felt that too. My goodness, Mirei mirrored my feelings for Yuuji a bit too well it’s kinda scary.

Always contemplating whether I should adopt him or be his best friend instead. Or both.

Gosh, the things I would do for this boy.

Okay, now my thoughts during drawing :D

Reader-insert is always a tricky thing to draw. I always pictured them as either an OC or a grey androgynous character with “Y/N” on their face. So to draw this character, that can be relatable to any reader, is really tricky. I never really inserted myself into a reader-insert fic, always saw them as their own entity, so it’s hard to decide on their appearance.

Even with all the descriptions present in the fic, I still struggle. Also I have to look up Japanese teacher summer outfits with appropriate hairstyles, etc etc because I can’t fully trust anime as my point of reference lmao

(I also rarely watch slice-of-life animes so I don’t have much stored reference in my brain to begin with lol)

Also, short sleeves are so hard to draw, wtf? I don’t understand  _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

It took me multiple tries to decide on poses and appearances, but I think the end result is alright! Could be better, but I’m satisfied for now.

And then Yuuji. Man, I honestly don’t know if this boy is ambidextrous, right-handed or left-handed. I tried looking into some images and he has used both so honestly Idk. I just want to say forgive me for any inaccuracies in this drawing, both from JJK's standpoint and Japanese culture in general orz

It’s hard to research only in the English language. I shouldn’t have stopped my Duolingo lessons years ago ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

On another note, Ozawa is really cute! I didn’t expect I would have fun drawing her character. I thought it’d be Yuuji but no, it’s Ozawa! And also Wasuke. Currently I’m studying middle-aged male characters, so drawing him is just part of the practice!

On another, another, note, all of the drawn moments are my favourite ones in the first chapter. That chapter is my favourite so far, I honestly could read multiple chapters only with Mirei teaching in Yuuji’s school and interacting with the Itadoris. I love reading how Mirei slowly gets closer and closer to Yuuji and Wasuke so much.

I just—I could cry gushing about Yuuji and Mirei’s platonic relationship, it’s so cute, so heartwarming, got my soul buzzing in delight, just AAAAHHHHHH—

Aight, that’s it for now. I have reached a speechless state and no longer know what to say except incoherent screaming noises. See you next time!

[murainhell]

I like Alastor's designs that include more deer details, but I've noticed that I'm not thinking on the same deer as the rest or something? Or that everyone uses the same base and ideas, but which are not necessarily correct? (I write this just to talk about deer, everybody can draw him as they want without having to take into consideration real biology, just have fun <3)

I guess most people are using the white-tailed deer, right?

(I love that in most of the photos, deers are looking at the camera; it's not surprising that Alastor knows when Vox is watching him).

It is, after all, an American species. And people tend to draw him with a tail with white details, so I guess we're going this way. But a few details:

I have seen that it has become very popular to put a lot of fur on his chest and I really want to know who started that?? Because yes, there are deer that have a lot of it, but it's usually on the neck. And as far as I remember right now it's another species, Canadian maybe? (I'm not that well versed in the species on the other side of the pond, sorry, but it sounds like a thing for a colder region). For me, the fact that he has a broad chest is because that's the way the designs of the series are, but in his case it's also because the deer are built like way lol

I am guilty of this too, but normally deer have their tails down when they are relaxed. If it is up, they are alerted, signalling danger to others.

Which would make sense with him, because I imagine he lives on constant guard, but don't be afraid to make his tail relaxed once in a while. Also, I don't think he would be happy to show the white part, because it could be interpreted as him seeing you as a danger.

Okay, I admit it, I love it when people draw dots on Alastor's fur or like freckles. That said… Only fawns have that. It's adorable, but I feel like he'd die of embarrassment if he had those marks and would hide them.

He was still a man in his late thirties or early forties when he died, if I remember correctly from the file they found with information for auditions while they were looking for actors? Just as I feel his human designs look too young (please, someone add laugh lines and wrinkles on him; in Hell he clearly looks younger (not a rare thing according to Helluva Boss), but I guess he pursued his hobby as an older man too), the dots on his fur make me think of him as a child orz

There are some species that do have spots when they are older, such as fallow deer (different antler shape) or sika deer, but they live in other parts of the world.

A lot of redesigns I see give him more elaborate and bigger antlers, because deer have them like that, don't they?

Can I offer you the roe deer in these difficult times?

Wrong continent? Yes. Beautiful antlers just like he has when he's not in his demonic form? YES. Also, red fur.

And the detail that makes me laugh the most, in the debate of whether Alastor has a tail or not, roe deer have super small tails, so in this case the anatomically correct answer would be no lol

Wrong part of the world too, as it lives in Latin America, but I simply love the marsh deer.

Beautiful species in a vulnerable state of conservation :( But every time I draw Alastor's arms and legs with black fur, they always come to my mind. It's literally what happens to these deer. And they have a beautiful reddish colour.

But then again, these are just ramblings. Thank you for reading this far. I just really like deer lol It's always a magical experience when I travel to Cazorla and I come across them in the forest.

[6okuto]

Niaaaa //wailing, heaving, rolling around on the floor

I cannot stress enough how much I adore your works and love rereading all of them from time to time

Am here to ask if you have any more touchstarved hcs,, or thoughts,, im dying over here

Literally starved for content

gn!reader | REG!!! //waving both hands, jumping up and down giggling. Thank U. this is an honour and incredible compliment. scary bc my old works are...old... but Thank u. U mean the world 2 Me. i didn't thoroughly check what hcs i've already said so sorry there's repeats orz

i'm not saying the LIs would all go to the barbie movie but if someone does make art of that please let me know and tag me especially if it has the i am kenough shirt

they ruined my life saying kuras doesn't eat how is he going to join my girl dinners now. /j but i'll continue to believe he can appreciate how good a meal looks! & he can still sit with you and try to get his hands on your favourite meals for you to enjoy :-)

that thing where they do push-ups and kiss you when they come down with...leander was the first one i thought of tbh. but if you aren't able to lie underneath him he'd just ask for the same amount once he's done!

leander doing the thing he did in the prologue where he took his glove off with his teeth every so often just to see your reaction. like if you react in an amusing flustered staring at him kind of way. i couldn't relate personally (lying) (liar) (huge lie)

i'm sorry for my leander bias but if one of his favourite things is MASQUERADES and we don't see him at a MASQUERADE well it's so joever like him in a suit and mask and showing off how he knows how to fit in because of his past and also he can waltz now or something I'm dizzy i can't breathe

ais using 0.5 camera on people while they're caught off guard. him asking you to take a video of the fight For him because he's going to be part of it. vere selfie folder. mhin 5 followers no icon no posts gc lurker.

mhin would stick to enough of a routine that they'd have a specific spot to sit at different places,,, like a cafe or the library or bus... corner. it's one of the corners. and when someone's taken the spot they're thrown off then have to walk around for a new one (not happy about this) but take it back once they leave. you spend enough time together and they start keeping the spot next to them open for you

^ also they'd always order the exact same thing at restaurants. wouldn't like going to a new place because now they have to find a new default order. just like me fr

is no one going to talk about the idea that vere doesn't like snow because he's chained outside and it's cold . to be fair it could Totally be for a less sad reason like how it gets his Fur Wet (valid) but i've been thinking about that possible angst

also his gloves are just. like. ? odd. inverse drawing gloves. claws... but why only the 3 fingers.... btw his outfit means a constant thigh holding opportunity

kuras and mhin having long conversations about alchemy and sharing their findings with each other ;; mhin at some point getting just a Little excited about something and kuras choosing not to comment on it but being happy to see them let their walls down a little ;; o(-(

ais coming into your room and wordlessly lying next to you in bed and when asked if he needs something he says no? with a smile. he was just feeling lonely and wanted to find you

saying "you look like you can't swim" or "you are an odd individual" to any and all of them . something about it is amusing to me

if you celebrate christmas or like the idea of kissing underneath some mistletoe,, i think it's a good thought that you hold one over your head and wait for a kiss Or that Some of the LIs would Definitely do that themselves.

who do you guys think has the saddest birthday celebration (/no celebration at all.) who's relating to girls who spend their birthday alone and crying and be honest with me

rambling but i just want to say kuras's monster form looks sick as FUCK and i'm so excited for it. it looks like whatever left the scar on his hand seems to be there.. in his monster form...? i thought it was a claw but the positioning is under/through the hand so like??. do i have to bring up the significance of that if true

also is his outfit (minus his jacket)...like a jumpsuit... or can i just not tell because of his three (?) belts. that's not how you wear belts btw /lh. and is the sheer part Part of the top or is he wearing something sheer underneath the white. his sleeves are also sheer but the neckline means his shoulders are out . take off ur jacket

also mhin !! i want to know how big they get and if the transformation is sickening to watch and if they're still aware of everything around them and !!! THERE IS A SPINE(?) COMING OUT FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE SILHOUETTE THAT I NEED TO SEE NOW! & i'm assuming the senobium is Shit so even if we do get in there and get 'help' there would be another shitty price to pay. possible bad ending...??

scenes with all their monster forms where you're asked if you're scared and you say no / yes but you care about them and they falter because they didn't expect that

true good ending is everyone meeting at the wet wick and making a toast and laughing and saying this truly was our touchstarved before the credits roll

[tunamayuuu]

“i actually stopped being into bsd for a full ass year and ever since that shin soukoku doodle i made, it comforted a big part of me that felt horrible everytime i'd post bsd onto socmed knowing my more passionate works didn't get as much engagement as shitposts ahaha...���

• Oh yeah I remember you mentioning that somewhere and tbh I get that it happened to me too but with Kny (⁠〒ω〒) It's unfair, and upsetting, the engagement rate on most art posts–that aren't either skk nor a meme–in this fandom, but I'm glad you're getting more love, because you deserve all of it with your work!! You put a lot of care into it and your hard work bears fruit to beautiful art! I can't really blame the people for wanting some relief from the depressive canon through memes and shitposts, but I also can't deny that it does sting.

“the kny-ified bsd au was and still is an au project i want to keep working on!! i have a looong list of the full cast, it's just that i always get side quests and wanting to draw OTHER things and getting into OTHER new medias i wanna draw and yeah that's why it's taken years for me to complete anything orz (i have plenty of files of the au that i never posted because they're all unfinished or uncolored and i thought i won't do my au justice if none of them were colored yk?)”

• I felt that on a spiritual level istg ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ It's understandable, and imo drawing for a different fandom is a good change of pace and helps avoid burnout since drawing the same fandom all the time could get tiresome, even if you would generally find it fun. (I get it, and I honestly admire your dedication to give the best you have for your works, so take your time with your projects, I know you're working hard and I think I speak for a lot of us when I say we'll never rush you to have anything finished and posted right away.)

“i'm not an inokana fan myself but i'd love to hear your take on them! i just wanted to draw kyokenji at that time ehehei will always say that rengokunikida was def not my idea. it was an idea from a bsd friend! they even explained to me how it could work and i never looked back”

• My take on inokana: They complement each other in many ways. Inosuke is very loud, and Kanao is very quiet, but they've both seen each other in the rare state where they're not. I feel like Inosuke could bring out a little immaturity in Kanao and that she could teach Inosuke a fraction of patience. Inosuke definitely has some form of appreciation for her skills and capabilities, and he'd definitely hold her in high regard in his own mountain king way. I don't know why, but a gut feeling tells me they'd agree on a lot of things for completely different reasons, and I suppose she'd humour him when he wants to go exploring in the forests because why not? Personal hc: they would've stayed by each other's side during recovery where Kanao would tell Inosuke more about Shinobu, and would also tell him the occult stories Shinobu always used to tell while Kanae covered her ears. Anyways yeah I care about them a lot. The bsd friend that suggested rengokunikida is a genius because it's so fitting. The immaculate coincidence of both of them getting impaled in the stomach by an immortal being WHILE SMILING AND LOOKING AT PEACE is too perfect.

“i'm actually not sure who would take murata's role in the au because we know next to nothing about canon tecchou. michizou already takes sabito's role so.....? ALSO I FINALLY GOT TO ANSWER THIS BECAUSE! fukuchi is not urokodaki in this au! fukuchi takes kokushibo's role”

• we'll probably get backstory in the next few chapters when he melts so we'll possibly get an option for murata in the next two months. KOKUSHIBO FUKUCHI??? I'M INSANE OVER THISAAAAAJDJDBD???

“jouno and fukuchi unfortunately do not interact in this au.. i'm so happy to see my au still getting love even after the years i've been on and off in activity! comments like these fill me with so much motivation to upkeep this au!”

• oh well, we can't have it all. I'm glad!! I will keep supporting and I'm excited for what's to come !!!

-anon called Grace

grace we have GOT to stop this yap contest (huge slash joking, i love these thank you)

"the engagement rate on most art posts–that aren't either skk nor a meme"

literally my most popular post on this account is STILL the soukoku memes i made back in 2021. which i'm grateful for! yet at the same time, it's a little ironic i guess because i'm not crazy about soukoku or fukumori anymore :(

"but I'm glad you're getting more love, because you deserve all of it with your work"

i am super grateful for the followers that have stuck with me throughout the years!! (yes i can recognize some of you in my notes haha) and i was honestly really comforted when i saw love for my traditional work in the reblogs and asks.. it genuinely healed a huge insecurity i had about my art...

"drawing for a different fandom is a good change of pace and helps avoid burnout since drawing the same fandom all the time could get tiresome, even if you would generally find it fun"

i have a friend who's crazy abt one pairing in their account and they've kept it up for probably more than half a decade now? i just realized along the way that i can't be like that... i literally joined the community wanting to be a ranpoe acct but ahaha... i get interested in too many things...

"I think I speak for a lot of us when I say we'll never rush you to have anything finished and posted right away"

uuu i've read this sentiment so many times on my account, and i'm always grateful... it brings me so much joy to see love for an au that's basically 2 years old now...

"They complement each other in many ways. Inosuke is very loud, and Kanao is very quiet, but they've both seen each other in the rare state where they're not. I feel like Inosuke could bring out a little immaturity in Kanao and that she could teach Inosuke a fraction of patience."

stop this. you're convincing me. you can't do this to me i'm already attached to too many pairings in kny PLEASE /j but fr though, this is such a sweet interpretation of their relationship! personally, i still see them as more platonic, or even queerplatonic if they're more committed to each other specifically... but that's just because i think inosuke being aroace would be silly...

"The bsd friend that suggested rengokunikida is a genius because it's so fitting. The immaculate coincidence of both of them getting impaled in the stomach by an immortal being WHILE SMILING AND LOOKING AT PEACE is too perfect."

what's crazy to me is the fact that my friend made that comparison two years ago. we never would have known kunikida would've been a donut too......

"KOKUSHIBO FUKUCHI??? I'M INSANE OVER THISAAAAAJDJDBD???"

fantastic! because i think fukuzawa and fukuchi would make for amazing tsukiguni twins

super happy to hear from you again, grace!

[merakiui]

thinking so many thoughts about single father trey. orz

single father trey who is doing his best to run a bakery while also taking care of his kids. single father trey who, despite always being tired and exhausted 24/7, greets you with a refreshing smile when you come in every sunday morning for a pastry. single father trey who becomes awkwardly flustered when his kids are helping out at the register and they try to give you the “best papa in the world” sales pitch (i.e. selling trey to you in hopes that the two of you will fall in love and get married, and then his kids can see their papa truly happy again). single father trey who starts to admire you in secret.

or alternatively: single father trey obsessing over you, the cute helper who works at his bakery. his children will never be able to tell that their father’s new interest in you is unhealthy; they think it’s true love ripped right from the sweetest fairy tale and they’re so eager to witness it unfold. they even unintentionally enable trey’s bad behaviors when they draw family portraits and include you on the page or when they take walks through your neighborhood with trey and point out all of the pretty houses and how they want to live in one with you. 

single father trey who keeps you locked away in the quaint apartment above the bakery, soothing you when you panic and squirm, always preparing the most delicious meals and sweets for you in hopes that you’ll eventually come to reciprocate (he’ll add a love potion in if he absolutely must). single father trey who, when you tearfully beg him to let you go and ask why he’s doing this to you, calmly tells you that this is for his family’s sake. he loves you and so do his children, and hopefully one day you’ll feel the same. 

single father trey who condemns you to a never-ending game of house in his pursuit of a very crooked, one-sided love. it doesn’t help that he treats you like one might treat a child: so incredibly, irritatingly patient, talking slowly and smoothly, using simple words and phrases that any child could understand (“i know you’re upset, but let’s remember to use our indoor voice.” or “let it all out. it’s okay to cry, sweetheart. i’m here for you.” or “i know this isn’t fair, but if you can calm down i’ll make you your favorite.”) he always has a plate of cookies and a glass of milk waiting when you wake from your naps, your eyelashes tacky with still-drying tears. 

you feel so infantilized in his presence, especially when he has you lie down for nap time when you say the meanest things to him, or when he wipes your tears away, presses his forehead to yours, and validates your feelings in the softest whispers.

trey is not cruel, nor is he violent. he is sweet and patient, and that is arguably far more frustrating than a foul temper. 

[damian-lil-babybat]

Let me explain...

So I just realized that my artstyle looks sus. Like, how come I got from this, my last fanart post, to this, current fanart??

So I have been doing arts for a decade now. But mostly in traditional style and I prefer inked ones.

So I know my anatomy, I know my lineart. But I hate coloring. That's coz apparently I am colorblind (my brother applied for aviation, and apparently he had one. And we see similar colors the same, so yep). I think its similar to a mild one(?), but I have lived seeing the world with these set of eyes, and I don't think I need medical for it (no money and shit).

So I am not comfortable with colors, so I always do base color mostly and just apply the barest of shades. (especially since I make my drawings muddy colored, either too orange or too yellow whenever I try...or too light, they look pink...never really realized it until recently).

Anyway, digital painting was just a hobby. And making fanarts are for funsies. Also, I only have a phone to draw digitally (Samsung Note, a gift from my person, nine years ago), nothing fancy, so i have never taken it seriously. (also frickin' ads on medibang is irritating, even I turn off internet, its still pop up, ugh...but I'm a beggar leeching off free stuff on the net so its okay 😅😅😅)

Then that all changed when I saw a youtube short video of Angel Ganev. He used to be toxic, still is, but he turned it around to a charming bastard, instead of just plain old bastard lol (he mentioned OCD, being perfectionist, and narcissist...but not sure if its clinical or just a turn of phrase)

Anyway, please go check him out! The way he corrects artwork submission was like getting eureka moments of what I am doing wrong with my art! And that there are no wrong colors on your art, just wrong application. And I could always use color swatches and references and just trust the process. They are tools that could help me, and I can use them. And the first step is to not be afraid of using too much yellow, orange, and pinks so long as they are cohesive to look at. and I am so glad it worked! I'mma recolor some of my fave Mama Talia AU next. And If I have more time, I'll do backgrounds (always been intimidating in digital orz)

So I hope me sharing this would also help you guys in your fanartist journey! It's never too late to improve! The only thing stopping me was fear and me getting comfortable with what I have when I can have more! Fighting!